Tommy and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
by yaoifangirl21069
Summary: Tommy is whisked away from his dreary Kansas home and transported to Munchkin Country where he is told to follow the Slightly Green but Mostly Yellow Brick Road to Emerald City. Along the way he meets a scarecrow, a tinman, and a cowardly lion. Will Tommy ever return home to Kansas?
1. Chapter 1

First GTA fic! Twinfire told me I should write a vin/toni or a son/tommy! So thanks for that! And this is an AU. Thoughts are in italics. Anyways, onwards!

Movie Night

Tommy had been getting increasingly bored. So he decided to host a movie night. He was ordering the pizza when he realized he didn't have a movie picked out. Once he ordered two large pepperoni pizzas. He shuffled over to his mahogany movie cabinet and picked through the movies. He had The Wizard of Oz, The Wild Thornberrys Movie, Encino Man, and lastly The Hangover!

Tommy grabbed The Hangover and checked to make sure the DVD was there. When he opened it though, the smile was immediately wiped from his face_. It wasn't there! Damn! That was the only good movie he had. Well, The Wizard of Oz was a good movie, but what would his friends think? Hell, they're going to watch it anyway, and if they don't like it they can just bitch about it! _

The doorbell then, chose to ring. Tommy opened the door and it was his friend Toni Cipriani and his boyfriend Vincenzo Cilli. He quickly invited them inside and told them to get comfortable. The pair decided to sit on the small, white, leather loveseat that was to the right of the TV.

Not to long after the couple arrived, the doorbell rang once more. It was more of Tommy's friends. Lance Vance, Claude, and Ken Rosenberg walked in. Lance decided to sit on a blue beanbag near the couch, Claude made himself comfortable on the couch, and Ken sat in a Lazy-Boy. Then the door abruptly swung open. It was Tommy's long-time boyfriend, Sonny Forelli. Tommy greeted Sonny by kissing his sweet Italian-American lips.

Then, Ken chose to spill his Coke on Tommy's immaculate, gorgeous, wonderful, throw rug. Tommy just about flipped his shit but then everyone's favorite and nutty, Pizza guy decided to show up and unknowingly defuse the situation. He handed the crazy man a crisp 20$ and told him to keep the change.

Tommy set the pizza down on the coffee table and his friends attacked it like honey badgers attack snakes. Tommy then "casually" sat next to Sonny and pulled his legs under him and got comfortable. He told Ken to put the movie in because hey, it's Ken.

~ Le end of the movie ~

Somehow, Tommy wasn't forced to go out and get a movie that was more violent. He was secretly surprised. Then Tommy realized everyone was still here. Tommy saw that Toni and Vincenzo had fallen asleep on the love-seat, so Tommy grabbed a blanket and threw it over the couple. He yawned and shuffled back to his room. Tommy decided that if the others wanted to leave they could let themselves out. He changed into his pajamas that consisted of a plain, white t-shirt, and soft, blue pajama bottoms that looked like his favorite Hawaiian shirt.

After that, Tommy flopped onto his bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. Five minutes hadn't even passed when Sonny came into his room. Tommy heard the shifting of clothes and then there was a dip in the bed. Then, a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist. Tommy then drifted slowly to sleep.

Then Tommy suddenly snapped awake. When he opened his eyes he couldn't believe it! Miss Mercedes had taken his terrier, Claude, to be destroyed because Claude had bitten her. Claude escaped but Tommy wasn't going to take any chances. He and Claude were going to run away!

Tommy packed up some of his clothes and started off. Claude was walking ahead of him when Tommy saw a man. Tommy walked up to him and asked who he was. The man said his name was Professor Truth, and he was a fortune teller! Tommy told Professor Truth his name and his plans.

"Is that a picture of your family?"

"Why yes! That is my Auntie Niko, my Uncle Roman, and our three farmhands."

"Well, they seem like nice people. Do you want me to tell you your fortune little runaway?'

"Yes, please do tell my fortune."

"Well, hmm, how do I say it, looks like your Auntie Niko is gravely ill!"Then Professor Truth turned towards the audience and winked at them.

"Really? He looked fine this morning, but I guess I'm in a gullible mood today. Poor Auntie Niko! Thank you for the fortune Professor Truth!"

Tommy really didn't get why Professor Truth winked at the audience but he felt it had to do with his fortune. Tommy raced back home but a terrible storm was brewing. When he got home the cyclone wasn't too far from his home! Tommy feebly pulled at the cellar door but it wouldn't budge because everyone else had already gotten inside and it was locked.

Tommy just decided that he would go inside and try not to die. Tommy was very scared, but he wouldn't admit that. He went into his room with Claude clutched in his arms, when a window frame blew in and gave him a firm crack on the head. He moaned and the world slipped out from under his feet. He could hear Claude barking. His body fell with a dull thud and everything faded to black.

Okay so how is it? Click the button that has the words review on it. Constructive criticism is welcome. I'm going to try and take elements from both the book and the movie. I'm not going to do the parts with the dainty china country. Oh, and sorry for Mercedes lovers, I needed someone to be evil.


	2. Chapter 2

WOOO Second chapter! Any thoughts are in _italic_s. I hope you like it!

Munchkin Country

When Tommy woke up he felt like he had gone on a vodka, scotch, and whiskey bender. Tommy slowly stood up, and grabbed Claude. He trudged to the door and lethargically opened it. His eyes widened in surprise. It was a brightly colored town, there were pastel houses and even a little bridge. Tommy then noticed something wasn't right. There weren't any people!

Then out of nowhere, little people flooded out and started singing a high pitched song. They were singing about a dead witch! Tommy was awe-struck when a man who looked terribly familiar, floated down to him in a jewel encrusted, soft bubblegum pink dress, with poofy sleeves.

"Hi there I'm Toni the good witch! It would seem that you've squashed the Wicked Witch of the East!"

"Say what?"

"You heard me! You killed a witch, with your house."

"Am I going to get in trouble for killing her?"

"Nope, she was evil. She enslaved the poor munchkins!"

"Wowee! That's pretty cool!"

"Yes, it is cool!"

"Ya, I'd really like to stay but I must get home to Kansas. Will you help me go home?"

"I suppose I will!"

Then in a split-second silver slippers appeared on Tommy's feet. He was bewildered at this phenomenon. Tommy just stood there blubbering. Toni tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey there, those are on your feet because you killed the witch and those were hers before you shmooshed her."

"Huh, they're pretty snazzy."

"Yes, but those are magic if you know what I mean."

Tommy looked at the shoes. They looked as if you could store some "stuff" in the heel.

"They better not have coke in them, or I'll be pretty mad."

"No, just follow the Slightly Green but Mostly Yellow Brick Road to Emerald City."

Then Toni the Good Witch stooped down and placed a kiss upon Tommy's forehead. He said it was for "protection" from trouble. Tommy grabbed Claude and put him in a wicker basket. All was well as he skipped down the Slightly Green but Mostly Yellow Brick Road.

Sometime after he left Munchkin Country, Tommy met a poor scarecrow stuck on a pole. Tommy quickly helped him down. The scarecrow's name was Lance, and he was coming with Tommy to Emerald City because he was in need of some brains! You see, the farmers, had made Lance to scare crows away, but Lance was too dumb to even do that. Lance thought if he could get brains he could figure out how to scare crows, and the brains would help him become a smart, well-rounded scarecrow.

They linked arms and while they were skipping along they happily sang a jaunty tune of sorts. Soon they stopped skipping because Tommy was starting to get tired. They had been walking for a while when Tommy saw some apple trees. He realized how hungry he was when saw the succulent, ripe, red fruit hanging from the boughs of the trees. Tommy walked over to the trees where a carving caught his eye. It read: Tomàs+Blair=LOVE. _Huh, Tomàs, I suppose that's my name spelled in a different way. Odd. _

Tommy showed Lance the carving. They both giggled because giggling is fun. Tommy then reached up to grab one of the apples when something that felt like a rock bitch-slapped him. Tommy was **pissed**_. No-one bitch-slaps Tommy with a rock_.

Tommy whirled around to see the trees, of all things, laughing at him.

"Okay people who the hell did that?"

One of the trees spoke up.

"It was Jeff. He saw that you were going to pick an apple from Luigi so he threw one of his apples at you."

"Well, why can't I pick one of Luigi's apples?"

"Cause' I said so, that's why!"

Lance grabbed Tommy's wrist. All Tommy heard was something about how terrible and sour those apples probably are. Then they were being bombarded by apples. They fell on the ground but they were still good. Tommy bent down to pick an apple up, and he saw a tin foot.

Tommy's eyes widened and he quickly straightened up and stepped back a bit. A slightly rusted tin man wielding a scary axe stood before him. Tommy, as much as he hates to say it, screeched like a little girl. Lance ran over to Tommy and gasped. Lance had apparently seen the axe too. Then the tinman spoke, his jaw squeeking ever-so slightly.

"Oil can, oil can, oil can, OIL CAN!"

"Okay, okay. I'll oil you , but where do you want to be oiled?"

"My mouth!"

"Okee Dokee artichokee!"

Tommy picked up the greasy oil can and oiled the rusty tinman's mouth.

"Ah! Thank you but could you oil the rest of me?"

Tommy complied with the tinman's request and he first oiled the tinman's elbows. His axe fell out of his arms and landed inches away from Lance's foot. Tommy continued on and oiled the rest of the tinman. They all sat down and the tinman told them his story. His name was Sonny, and he had been out chopping wood when it started raining. He had been rusted ever since. He decided to come with Tommy and Lance to Emerald City because he needed a heart.

The three of them linked arms and skipped off to follow the Slightly Green but Mostly Yellow Brick Road, singing the same jaunty tune as before with Claude following silently behind them.

WOOP WOOP! Second chapter done! I hope anyone who read this thought it was funny! So click that **tantalizing** button that says review, just click it and anything that happens , happens!


	3. Chapter 3

Yay! Third chapter! Sorry for updating so late! Oh, I forgot I don't own anything! Any thoughts are in _italics_!

On the Slightly Green but Mostly Yellow Brick Road!

Tommy, Sonny, Lance, and Claude, were currently walking through a dark, scary, and creepy forest. The roots were overgrown, the trees reached for the skies, and the branches intertwined, and blocked out any hope of seeing the sun.

"Uh, Sonny, are there any sort of, wild animals, in this forest?"

"Well, Tommy, there are mostly lions and tigers and bears!"

"Oh my!"

Then in a split-second, a blur of golden-brown fur shot out in front of them! He held his fists up, and demanded that someone fight him. The lion insulted Sonny and Lance, then he turned towards Claude, and he threatened the angry cairn terrier. Tommy boxed the lion's nose and simultaneously picked Claude up.

"You ought not pick on little dogs!"

"Ack! Is my nose bleeding? It feels like its bleeding!"

"No, it isn't bleeding, you big coward!"

"I know I'm a coward, but I am so gosh-danged ugly, I can't sleep!"

"Ya, I agree, you are ugly, why don't you come along and Oz can give you courage and cure your ugly!"

"Hmm, Okay!"

Lance linked his arms with Sonny, who in turn, linked his arms with Tommy, who linked arms with the newcomer, Ken. The group skipped off, singing the same jaunty tune as before.

~The Wicked Witch of the West's lair~

Mercedes peered into her crystal ball, and stared at the group, much like a basement-dwelling stalker. She wanted to do something really evil, just because she wanted those** gorgeous,** silverslippers. _I need something poisonous, pleasing to the eye, and soothing to the smell. Porn? Wait, that's not poisonous or soothing…Poppies! That'll put em' to sleep!_

Mercedes cackled at her own joke then she punched a flying monkey, named Dimitri, in the face, for no reason whatsoever.

~Back on the Slightly Green but Mostly Yellow Brick Road~

The group was walking along when they came to a great, big, gaping ditch, of unhappiness. It seemed like it was a million miles wide and a million miles deep. If you fell, your body would land with a terrible **splat**, then it would lie limp and lifeless at the bottom, as if you were nothing but a useless sack of rancid meat. As Lance peeked over the side, he lost his balance, the scarecrow almost went tumbling over the side, if Tommy had not grabbed the tail of his shirt. Lance was too dumb to realize that falling over the edge, was a bad thing.

Tommy looked around and his eyes landed on ugly Ken, when he got a brilliant idea! One person could sit on Ken and he could jump across the ditch, where they land safely on the other side! Although knowing Lance, he would probably slide off due to his stupidity. Well, time to take chances right?

Tommy piped up and explained his **wonderful** plan. Ken was awfully wary of Tommy's idea, but Tommy threatened to make ken look in a mirror. Ken agreed to the plan shortly after Tommy's "comment".

Tommy was the first to go since he came up with the idea. Once Tommy and Claude had been planted firmly on Ken's back, Ken charged at the ditch before he landed ungracefully on the other side. This step had been repeated twice. One time with dim-witted Lance and a second time with the shiny, ever-so gorgeous, but heartless Sonny.

Tommy thought about patting Ken on the back for his mediocre work, but he recoiled in disgust when he saw Ken's ugly face. Everyone then linked arms and skipped off singing the same oh-so-jaunty tune from before.

~Le Poppy Field~

Soon the group came to a poppy field! In the distance Emerald City gleamed. Tommy was so happy, he broke off in to a run. Sonny playfully jogged along towards Tommy. Lance and Ken followed after. Tommy started slowing down and his lids started to get heavy. Emerald City wasn't far off from where the poppy field ended.

Soon, Tommy, Claude, and Ken had fallen asleep. Sonny and Lance hadn't fallen asleep because they weren't warm-blooded or anything. Sonny had been stricken with so much grief he turned into a sobbing, inconsolable mess. His tears rusted his face which made him cry even more. It was a terrifying catch-22!

_CLIFFHANGER!_ He, I hope this story brings happiness to anyone who reads this. This chapter was so terrible it _almost_ made me cry out of shame. Anyway, press the button that says review_, it'll make ya feel good. I promise!_*winkwink*


	4. Chapter 4

WOOPWOOP! Fourth chapter, right? Thoughts in _italic!_ I don't own anything!

In the Poppy Field

" Ack! Sonny your face is rusting! Stop crying!"

"OK!"

Lance took Sonny's oil can out of Tommy's wicker basket and started to oil the poor tinman's face. Once he had finished that, Sonny and Lance started to drag Tommy out of the field. Sonny grabbed Tommy's tanned ankles and Lance hooked his arms around Tommy's toned shoulders. They both gave a nod to each-other as a sign that they were ready. The two of them heaved up the limp body and stumbled over to the Slightly Green but Mostly Yellow Brick Road and they dropped his body on the ground.

Sonny immediately crouched down next to Tommy and ghosted his finger over his cheek. He swooped down and connected hi s lips with Tommy's lips. It rivaled that of a Disney movie kiss. Tommy's eyes fluttered open and he sat straight up. When he did that, his head collided with Sonny's and he got a goose-egg on his forehead.

Tommy rubbed his forehead but he stood up anyway. When Tommy righted himself he turned towards the other two.

"Uh, guys, what are we going to do about Ken?"

"Well, could we roll him out?"

"Lance, that's stupid, he's too heavy!"

Tommy sighed and sat down on the edge of the field. Sonny and Lance soon followed suit. Not long after the weary trio had sat down to think, a small, squeaky voice interrupted them.

"Hello there! It me the male Queen of the mice! My name is Albert and this funny Tinman killed the wildcat and saved my life! Because you did that I shall grant you a favor!"

Sonny blushed and bashfully twisted his head so as to cover his face. He then told Albert what he wanted him to do, albeit a hushed voice. Albert nodded his tiny head and he then told his mousy army how they were to get ken out of the field.

First they fashioned a large, gurney like device out of a board and some rope. The mice slipped it under Ken and set to work. Half of the mice were under Ken and the other half of the army were being used to pull the rope. It was grueling for the mice, but they eventually got it done.

"Thank you for your help Albert! We're grateful that you helped us!"

"You're welcome, my friends! We must be off now Goodbye!"

The trio then waved goodbye to the mice. Tommy turned around and his eyes rested upon the homely lion's face. Tommy suddenly raised his silver clad foot and planted it hard in Ken's side. Ken slowly lumbered up to his feet. Tommy called Claude to him and he linked arms with Ken and Sonny, who in turn linked his arms with Lance. The group started to sing their jaunty tune as they skipped along to the gate of Emerald City!

~Le Mercedes The Wicked Witch of the West's Lair~

Mercedes peered into her crystal ball and she snarled in disbelief._ I can't believe they did that! Urgh! Now I'm hoppin mad!_

Blarghblarghblarghblargh! This chapter really sucked ass! I hope you enjoyed it! Now, do exactly what I say, click review and leave a pleasant message for me! Please? _Oh God I'm so desperate…. _


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